Today’s world is chaotic and unpredictable. You go and go and go. What are you accomplishing? Really? We make money. We spend money. We fix our broken house and go further into debt just to survive. We drown in overworked hours just to pay the bills and put the gas we need in the car to go to the job that pays the bills.
I don’t sleep very well these days. My mind is always waking me up with my massive to do list. As my mind steps on the hamster wheel to remind me of everything I have to do, my anxiety kicks up and I become the White Rabbit saying, “no time, no time.” I have deadlines to meet at the same time that I have important family functions to be a part of. I try to give myself to everybody, but inwardly I’m panicking as I watch the time go by.
I know everything will get done eventually, but I want it done on time and I want it done well. Soon, one of the things I do will be taken off my plate and my load will be a little lighter. The stress won’t change though. It will move to something else, like my book I’m taking too long to finish.
I wish I could snap my fingers and everything just be done, but life doesn’t work that way. I need to somehow be okay with the adjustments I have to make. I need to be okay with dirty dishes in the sink and the mountain of laundry that can wait until tomorrow. I don’t know how to do that. That’s not me. I have today and tomorrow to really make a dent in everything I need to do. God willing, I’ll do just that!
That doesn’t keep me from wanting to be like Anne. No worries. No stress. Just live in our world of imagination and pretend just for one day. Pretend we don’t have to go to work. We don’t have to stress over bills. Life can just stand still for a minute and let us breathe. Oh how I wish I could be like Anne and feel so free.